Your Divorce Coach May Be Your New Best Friend

Lots of people hire divorce coaches as a vital member of their team to get through their split. Here's what you need to know.

Life coaches, job coaches, weight loss coaches, pregnancy coaches—basically, you can find a coach for almost any situation you need some extra guidance and motivation. Divorce is no different.

An experienced and certified divorce coach is a professional you just might want in your court—they’re trained to help you deal with the huge impact of a separation or divorce, and making the decisions that will shape your life going forward. Making the transition from coupled to single can be rough, and a coach can help you not only survive it, but dial the stress way down. In addition, he or she will likely have a ready list of other professionals to recommend to you, like an attorney, if you don’t already have one.

How Do I Know if I Need a Divorce Coach?

Of course, you can get through your divorce on your own. However, a coach can help empower you to make the best possible decisions for you and your family. You may want to work with a divorce coach if you’re saying any of these things to yourself:

• “I literally have no idea where to get started with my divorce—the legal process is a mystery to me, and I don’t have any idea what’s next.”
• “I’m totally paralyzed by fear and am unable to do anything.”
• “I feel like I’m just not thinking clearly, and can’t make good decisions.”
• “I’m so angry at my ex, that all I want to do is retaliate.”
• “My finances are a muddle – I don’t even know where all our assets are.”
• “My self-esteem is shot. I can’t imagine ever feeling confident in myself again.”
• “I’m a terrible parent.”

How Can a Divorce Coach Help Me?

A coach is there to guide you through the divorce process—remember, a coach isn’t an attorney (you’ll need one of those, too) and won’t represent you in court—or in any legal capacity at all. While you’ll be shelling out extra funds for a divorce coach’s support, there are definite benefits to hiring one:

1. You want an objective opinion. You’ll need your family and friends there for support, but they’re biased (probably toward you). A divorce coach will provide a neutral point of view based on factual information.

2. You want someone who can answer questions on the fly. Your divorce coach is there to provide you with helpful information—it can be reassuring to talk to a knowledgeable professional about the process rather than relying on Google.

3. You want to talk strategy. While you’ll need to work with your attorney on the legal aspects of your divorce, you can ask your coach to help you navigate other situations during the divorce, like how to handle your emotions or fights with your ex.

4. You could use a little hand-holding. While talking to family and friends makes total sense, again, remember that they’re biased. They might chide you for complaining too much or egg you on to take your ex for all he or she is worth. A coach will listen to your emotional vents—and help you think your way through each new situation. Divorce can be a long, stressful and bumpy process and your coach is along for the whole ride with you. Your coach’s job is to create a safe, constructive and nonjudgmental environment for you to work through your split.

If you need help with a family law matter, our attorneys at Smedley Law Group can provide you with the professional advice you need to make an educated decision. Schedule a consultation with one of our attorneys today.