Oct 10
6 min read
What Every Couple in a Long Marriage Should Know About Divorce
Divorcing after a long-term marriage? Discover key legal, financial, and emotional considerations to help you navigate this complex process.

Divorce can be a tumultuous experience at any stage of life. Still, the landscape becomes particularly complex after a long-term marriage. Did you know that among those aged 65 and older, the divorce rate has nearly tripled since 1990? In 2015, it reached six people per 1,000 married people. This rising trend, often called “gray divorce,” highlights unique challenges distinct to those who’ve been together for decades.
Navigating divorce after a long-term marriage involves understanding specific legal and financial considerations. This is especially true in states like New Jersey, where marital laws can significantly impact the outcome of your divorce proceedings. Let’s explore some factors to consider while we offer insights and advice to help you transition into this new chapter of your life with confidence and clarity.
What Duration of Marriage Is Considered ‘Long’ in New Jersey?
In New Jersey, a marriage is generally considered long-term if it has lasted at least 10 years. This duration is significant in divorce proceedings as it influences alimony and property division decisions. A long-term marriage often establishes a lifestyle and financial pattern courts consider when determining equitable post-divorce arrangements.
Unique Challenges of Long-Term Marriages
Long-term marriages often encompass shared experiences and emotional bonds that can make the divorce process particularly painful. The emotional distance that may develop over time, especially after children leave home, can lead to a realization of different life goals and personal growth trajectories. It’s important to acknowledge the emotional toll of this process and seek support when you need it.
Couples in long-term marriages typically have deeply intertwined lives, with joint property, shared debts, and mutual responsibilities. The complexity of these financial and personal entanglements adds another difficulty in reaching a fair settlement.
Income and Spousal Support
Spousal support helps maintain the marital standard of living for the lower-earning spouse. Courts evaluate factors like the duration of the marriage, each spouse’s income, and earning potential.
Retirement and Social Security
Given the long period of accumulation, dividing retirement plans can be complex. Additionally, depending on various factors, spouses may be eligible for each other’s Social Security benefits.
Insurance Concerns For older couples, figuring out insurance after a divorce is a top priority. It’s important to plan carefully to make sure health and life insurance stay in place, offering peace of mind for the future.
Key Factors in Long-Term Marriage Divorce Proceedings
Property Division in Divorce
Dividing assets accumulated over a long marriage involves assessing joint and individual property. In New Jersey, equitable distribution only sometimes means an equal split, especially when one spouse has contributed more to household duties than financially.
In long-term marriages, shared financial responsibilities often include joint credit cards, mortgages, and lines of credit. Dividing these debts can be straightforward when both parties are co-signers and financially capable of covering their share. However, complications arise when debts are tied to a business owned by one spouse, or income disparities make equitable division challenging.
For instance, if one spouse has used joint credit to finance a business venture, the division of this debt may require careful negotiation. The other spouse might be compensated with a larger share of physical assets, or the business owner may need to refinance debts to ensure a fair split. The ultimate goal is to finalize the divorce without burdening either party with excessive joint debt obligations.
Factors New Jersey Courts Consider in Asset Division
When dividing assets in a divorce, courts assess several factors to ensure a fair and equitable distribution:
- Length of the Marriage: Longer marriages typically involve more intertwined finances, making asset division more complex. The duration of the marriage can also influence spousal support awards.
- Income Disparity: Courts examine the income levels of each spouse throughout the marriage. A significant disparity will likely result in spousal support from the higher-earning partner.
- Contributions to the Marriage: The asset division considers financial and non-financial contributions, such as homemaking, child-rearing, and emotional support. These non-financial contributions are often undervalued in divorce proceedings, but they play a significant role in the family’s overall well-being and should be acknowledged.
- Current and Future Earning Potential: The court may evaluate each spouse’s ability to earn income after the divorce, which can affect asset division and spousal support.
- Needs of Each Spouse: The financial needs of each individual, including living expenses and health care, are considered.
- Standard of Living: Efforts are made to ensure that both parties can maintain a standard of living similar to what was established during the marriage.
Mediation and Settlement Processes
Mediation and settlement processes are among the most effective ways to handle divorce amicably. These methods provide a less adversarial approach to resolving disputes and promote cooperation between both parties.
Here are some of the benefits of mediation:
- Neutral Guidance: A third-party mediator helps facilitate communication and identify issues without imposing binding decisions.
- Cost-Effective: Mediation can significantly reduce legal fees and court costs compared to a litigated divorce.
- Privacy: Unlike public court proceedings, mediation allows couples to resolve their issues privately.
- Control and Flexibility: Couples can control the outcome and tailor solutions that best meet their needs.
In New Jersey, couples may also use the Early Settlement Program (ESP) and settlement panels to reach an agreement:
ESP: Couples appear before experienced matrimonial attorneys who recommend a nonbinding settlement.
Settlement Panel: This panel assists in resolving financial issues by reviewing proposals and making recommendations.
These programs facilitate an efficient and fair resolution, often leading to better long-term outcomes for both parties.
Separation and Legal Implications
When going through a separation, be mindful of some legal pitfalls that could complicate your divorce. Here are a few things to keep in mind.
Avoid Parental Kidnapping
To prevent any issues around parental kidnapping if you share minor children, make sure to:
- Set up a clear custody agreement that’s approved by the court.
- Ask for travel restrictions if necessary.
- Keep open lines of communication with the other parent.
- Understand your legal rights and know what to do if you suspect any threats of abduction.
Other Legal Pitfalls to Avoid
1. Follow Court Orders: Ignoring court orders can land you in hot water and lead to consequences you definitely don’t want.
2. Get Legal Representation: Trying to represent yourself can make things messier than they need to be. Having a lawyer in your corner will help you feel more confident and better equipped to navigate your divorce.
3. Protect Financial Assets: Don’t move funds from joint accounts or make changes to shared property without legal advice — it could backfire.
Timing and Process
Knowing what to expect timeline-wise can help you plan your next steps. In New Jersey, divorces typically wrap up within a year, with most cases taking around nine to 10 months.
Impact of Remarriage on Support Payments
Remarrying can change the terms of alimony and child support:
- Alimony generally stops if the spouse receiving it gets remarried, though there are some exceptions.
- Child support usually stays the same, but it can be revisited if the new marriage significantly affects the child’s standard of living.
- If changes are needed, go through family court so everything stays above board.
Consider Counseling to Rebuild Your Marriage
Before taking the final steps toward divorce, counseling can be a valuable option to explore. Sometimes, having an unbiased third party help you and your spouse communicate more effectively can bring clarity and even reconciliation. Even if divorce still feels like the right choice, counseling can provide tools for healthier co-parenting and a smoother transition. It’s worth considering if you’re open to working through the challenges together.
Contact the Family Law Attorneys at Smedley Law Group, P.C. in Woodbury, NJ Today
Ending a long-term marriage brings numerous unique challenges and considerations. Legally, there are several issues to navigate, including spousal support and asset division. That’s why it’s so important to work with an attorney who really gets what you’re going through and can guide you through the process. The family law attorneys at Smedley Law Group, P.C. are well-versed in handling these matters and proudly represent clients throughout New Jersey, including in West Deptford, Woodbury Heights, Runnemede, and Westville.
We understand how challenging this time can be for you, which is why we’ll fight hard to protect your interests and those of your loved ones throughout the legal process. Call us at (856) 251-0800 or fill out our confidential contact form to schedule a consultation. Our office is conveniently located at 750 Cooper Street, Woodbury, NJ 08096.
The articles on this blog are for informative purposes only and are no substitute for legal advice or an attorney-client relationship. If you are seeking legal advice, please contact our law firm directly.