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Yes, You Can Reconnect With Your Children After a Divorce or Other Hardships

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Being a single parent is challenging enough, but then the world decides to throw all of us a curveball. The COVID-19 pandemic has been stressful for everyone, though parents and children have especially been impacted. If you’ve also recently gone through a separation or divorce from your co-parent during the pandemic, that creates additional stressors on your family unit.

No matter what your situation—whether you’re employed, looking for work, or trying to take care of your child alone without resources—your child needs you now more than ever. 

Here are five tips from Emily Graham, founder of the support website Mighty Moms, to help you reconnect with the ones you love the most:

1. Communication and connection are key.

Depending on how old your child is, communicating with them about the nature of your present difficulties may provide some sense of comfort. This way, they know that they aren’t the only person in the family feeling the way they currently do. Children who’ve experienced some form of trauma need to feel like their parental figures are on their team, so keeping them in the dark does neither of you any good. But you still need to be mindful and respectful of their feelings, so understanding how and when to communicate with them is important. 

Establishing a routine is also incredibly important. Meals, chores, school, and everyday activities should all be undertaken on a regular regimen, even if the current routine is different than it was before the traumatic event occurred. Having a routine will help ground your child, giving them much-needed time to understand that the familiar faces and locations in their life are still available to them. This also gives you time to recontextualize things for yourself, as well.

2. Create a safe space in your home.

Stress can be environmental as well as emotional, and taking the time to get your home into a state of mindful relaxation could be integral to helping your child recover from the stress of your current hardships.

Turn your home into a fresh, vibrant space in order to help with this recovery. A clean bedroom, kitchen, and living area can have serious positive impacts on your kids, not least of which is that you’ve injected a semblance of comfort and positivity into the house by keeping it clean, fresh, and well-lit. Open a window. Change the color in a room. Turn your home into a place where your child feels comfortable and relaxed.

3. Spend quality time, but also give them space.

Children should be allowed to play freely and regularly, as play is a form of working through hardship for young people. As a developmental tool, play is hugely important. Kids learn how to communicate, how to deal with others, and how to cognitively define their own worlds—how to contextualize their activities in light of events happening around them. This is integral to helping them through whatever difficult event you’re experiencing currently.

4. Explore your therapy options.

Another option you should explore when looking for ways to reconnect with your child is pursuing professional help. Trained counselors can be helpful in training parents to connect more effectively with their children or  Therapists can also provide a valuable resource in teaching families to communicate more clearly and effectively with each other.

5. Connect with others.

Remember that even as you reconnect with your child, you may need mental and physical help as well. Don’t neglect your own health—that’s not good for anyone. If you need assistance, you should reach out. Therapy specific to parenting or even to the emotional events going on in your life could be the thing you need.

About Emily Graham

Emily Graham is the creator of Mighty Moms. She believes being a mom is one of the hardest jobs around and wanted to create a support system for moms from all walks of life. On her site, she offers a wide range of info tailored for busy moms, from how to reduce stress to creative ways to spend time together as a family. Contact: emilygraham@mightymoms.net.

Contact the Experienced Family Law Attorneys at Smedley Law Group in Williamstown, NJ Today

If you’re facing a difficult situation with your co-parent, you’ll need to speak with a qualified attorney to protect your children’s rights. The New Jersey family law attorneys at Smedley Law Group represent clients throughout the state, including West Deptford, Woodbury Heights, Runnemede, and Westville. We understand how challenging this time can be for you, which is why we will fight hard to protect your interests, and the interests of your loved ones, throughout the legal process. Call us at (856) 251-0800 or fill out our confidential contact form to schedule a consultation. We have an office conveniently located at 750 Cooper Street, Woodbury, NJ 08096.

The articles on this blog are for informative purposes only and are no substitute for legal advice or an attorney-client relationship. If you are seeking legal advice, please contact our law firm directly.

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